Official Uniform of the Morning Grump.
Cozy hoodies starring your breed at its grumpiest. Because neither of you wanted to wake up this early.
Hot coffee. Warm hoodie. Cold shoulder.
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“I've been up since four. You're late.”
Nine dogs.
Nine coffee orders.
Zero morning people.
Every hoodie we make belongs to one of them. Find the one that’s uncomfortably close to your own personality.
Bartleby
PugQuad shot. No foam. No eye contact.
“I did not agree to sunrise.”
Meet Bartleby
Kai
HuskyIced americano. In January.
“I'm not yelling. This is just my voice.”
Shop Kai’s gear
Gaston
French BulldogOat cortado. Extra judgment.
“I've been up four minutes. It's been a long day.”
Shop Gaston’s gear
Sunny
Golden RetrieverCaramel everything. Extra whip.
“Good MORNING!! ...why is everyone looking at me like that.”
Meet Sunny
Bruno
RottweilerBlack. No sugar. No conversation.
“I don't do small talk before the second cup.”
Shop Bruno’s gearSarge
German ShepherdCold brew. 0500 hours.
“I've been up since four. You're late.”
Meet Sarge
Peanut
ChihuahuaOne (1) espresso. Do not touch it.
“Small cup. Large opinions.”
Meet Peanut
Mesa
Australian ShepherdFlat white. Drunk while pacing.
“I've already herded three things. It's 7am.”
Meet Mesa
Tank
Pit BullVanilla latte. Extra sweet.
“I look intimidating. I ordered a vanilla latte.”
Meet Tank
Swipe to meet the rest of them →
Grumpy Gear
Heat-pressed or embroidered, your call. Pick your breed, pick your mood, and let the hoodie do the talking so you don't have to.
4 products
Join the club.
We promise not to bark too much.
New drops, restocks, and roughly one joke a month. Peanut is in charge of the send button, which is why it’s never at a reasonable hour.