Official Uniform of the Morning Grump.
Cozy hoodies for you, matching bandanas for them. Because neither of you wanted to wake up this early.
New Drop: The “No Talkie” Hoodie
“My dog loves it more than I do.”
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“I've been up since four. You're late.”
Nine dogs.
Nine coffee orders.
Zero morning people.
Every hoodie, bandana and mug we make belongs to one of them. Find the one that’s uncomfortably close to your own personality.
Bartleby
PugQuad shot. No foam. No eye contact.
“I did not agree to sunrise.”
Shop Bartleby’s gear
Kai
HuskyIced americano. In January.
“I'm not yelling. This is just my voice.”
Shop Kai’s gear
Gaston
French BulldogOat cortado. Extra judgment.
“I've been up four minutes. It's been a long day.”
Shop Gaston’s gear
Sunny
Golden RetrieverCaramel everything. Extra whip.
“Good MORNING!! ...why is everyone looking at me like that.”
Shop Sunny’s gear
Bruno
RottweilerBlack. No sugar. No conversation.
“I don't do small talk before the second cup.”
Shop Bruno’s gearSarge
German ShepherdCold brew. 0500 hours.
“I've been up since four. You're late.”
Shop Sarge’s gear
Peanut
ChihuahuaOne (1) espresso. Do not touch it.
“Small cup. Large opinions.”
Shop Peanut’s gear
Mesa
Australian ShepherdFlat white. Drunk while pacing.
“I've already herded three things. It's 7am.”
Shop Mesa’s gear
Tank
Pit BullVanilla latte. Extra sweet.
“I look intimidating. I ordered a vanilla latte.”
Shop Tank’s gear
Swipe to meet the rest of them →
Grumpy Gear
Embroidered, never printed. Pick your breed, pick your mood, and let the hoodie do the talking so you don't have to.
4 products
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We promise not to bark too much.
New drops, restocks, and roughly one joke a month. Peanut is in charge of the send button, which is why it’s never at a reasonable hour.